Friday, April 27, 2007

How far do you push your kids?

Friday was a dad daughter day, thankfully I work for a family friendly group of folks.
I was team leader of 5-4 year olds and we did things like sack races, bean bag toss, balloon pop etc.

My girl was in my group and she totally bailed on the sack race. She made it down on side but got tangled up and declared it too hard to carry on.

I must confess to the dismay of most that love me that I am an avid Howard Stern listener. Since Thursday was "take your kids to work day" it came up on the show that Howards producers kid (bahbah-booey) was on the fence about playing football and the producer asked outloud where do you draw the line of making them see through a commitment vs. letting them say "its too hard" and letting them quit. This wasnt a question to Howard directly but to the staff and any caller who cared to comment.

My kid is also playing Soccer this year and I am a rookie coach as a result. She has showed good effort and seems to enjoy playing and I love coaching. I dont have to worry about this issue for a couple more years but I know I went through it with my folks when I was in high school. So the question for the group is when and how far do you push your kids when it comes to them wanting to quit on something?

-Peace-

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

First of all, I think it is great that you are involved with Sierra's activities. She will appreciate it when she is older and looks back on her childhood.
But it is kind of tricky sometimes to keep them from "bailing out" on you. She is still young, but you can begin by talking to her about committment. With the soccer...you can tell her she is part of a team and she has to give her best and not to let her other teamates down. I have a friend who just shared with me last week that her 7 yr. old grandson refused to go to his Saturday morning baseball game. His parents actually spanked him and made him go. I personally do not agree with that approach. I think if you have a child who is adamant about quitting a team, then they need to be the ones to tell their team members giving an explanation why. I'll bet they would rather continue playing than facing the team with that information.
I dont have any advice on the sack race thing. She is still kind of young so it is still forgiveable. I guess just stressing the fact that it is okay to make a mistake and get back up and keep trying is better than being labeled a "quitter." I know she watches football with you and maybe you can have her watch when a player is down and injured and gets back up and gets back in the game. The player is almost always cheered on for his perseverance. "It doesnt matter if you win or lose....but if you finish" approach may help.
Good luck!......Grammi

Woodman said...

I am currently coaching my daughter's under 6 team. I'll be the first to admit that my kid is the worst one on the team. We have a kid who I suspect to be autistic who's better than her. She has mentioned a few times that she doesn't want to go to practice. I let her know that I signed on to be the coach and the team has to have a coach so we are going even if she just wants to sit on the bench and watch (which she never wants to do once we get there). She was also an avid quitter when things are "too hard". This has gotten a little better since she started Kindergarten. Her teachers and especially the PE Coach don't let anyone get away with just quitting. I think as parents we have to let some outside pressure drive certain portions of our kids' development. When Coach says "You can't quit do you want to be a champ or a chump?" and every other kid in class screams "I'm a champ!!!" Well, that's a lesson you just can't convey in a one on one Dad Daughter moment. I'll let her sign for soccer next year if she wants to play, but I'll have to let someone else coach because my kid just can't see me that way, no matter how tough I try to be (and believe me, I've tried my hardest). By the way, despite how frustrating it is for me to know that my kid is the crappiest player on the field even compared to the autistic kid, she loves it. She is the little team princess who everybody has to give hugs to, so I must wonder if she really isn't the biggest winner on the field after all.